Load-Bearing Lines

Tracing the hidden architecture of meaning

I. Truth, Perception & Meaning

I wasn’t trying to prove I was right. I was trying to prove I mattered.

The only thing wrong with me is that there was never anything wrong with me.

Ignorance isn’t bliss, but it is an anesthetic.

Belief is one of the easiest things to outsource.

I’ll believe anything because I don’t believe in anything.

The most effective form of skepticism is a willingness to say yes to every single thing.

What good is free will when your perception has been so distorted?

Acceptance can resolve the distortion long before it relieves the pain.

I don’t use humor to mask pain. I use it to name it clearly.

I don’t think a soul is something you have. I think it’s something you do.

II. Family Systems, Abuse & Inheritance

I was born to fight the system. It started with my family’s.

Mental illness doesn’t run in my family; it just goes in fuckin’ circles.

Not sure why they call it brainwashing. There’s nothing clean about it.

Of course you don’t remember my childhood—you were busy filling it with yours.

My family doesn’t operate on unconditional love. It operates under the condition that I am unlovable.

In color theory, the change from white to black is called a decrease in value. This is also how families turn good humans into black sheep.

Demons aren’t hellspawns. They’re hereditary.

III. Trauma, Survival & Return

The worst part about trauma is that the trauma wasn’t the worst part.

I used to wonder how the walls never caved in. It’s because I was trapped inside them.

The only home I’ve ever known is after Stock, in Syndrome.

Undoing structural dissociation is like dementia in reverse.

The problem isn’t going crazy. The problem’s getting back.

“Breakthrough” sounds less glamorous when dissected by experience—you definitely break. But you somehow get through.

I had to grow up in what I had to grow out of.

The undertones are where the undertows are.

The problem with being deep is that the farther you go, the heavier the pressure.

I’m drowning in your shallow waters.

I’m not a victim. I am a witness.

IV. Outliers, Identity & Belonging

Deep-see creature.

The rare ones understand why the rest have gone extinct.

Vantablack sheep.

I may be a freak, but I’m nature’s freak.

Uncanny valley girl.

I experienced so much alienation, I became an alien nation. Population: one. I leave in peace.

V. Social Systems, Power & Moral Contradiction

People who rely on hierarchy to feel safe tend to resent competence.

It’s funny: for all this groupthink, we get in a group and can’t fucking think.

Beware the villages that all choose an idiot—and do beseech the idiot.

When responsibility isn’t a response ability.

Most people protect lies because the truth would demand too much from them.

Most people don’t live as an act of good. They live as an act.

Money doesn’t buy happiness. But it does put a down payment on safety.

Telling toddlers not to hit while parents bomb civilians.

VI. Gods, Hell & Belief

You can’t be a sinner if you’re always forgiven.

I don’t have questions about God. But I do have questions for him.

God doesn’t judge me. I judge God.

God is not a savior—he’s a voyeur. I’ll have no part in a heaven whose price of admission is a life in hell.

I wouldn’t have to find Jesus if he wasn’t hiding in the first place.

Either the surgical precision of a universal cosmic order—or Satan’s just a real Type A motherfucker.

VII. Language Under Pressure

Not sure if a good future’s in my cards if it’s the same deck that built this house. Burning it down will be the only warm memory.

What they call burning the bridge is actually burning the witch.

Your poetic justice < my poetic fuck this.

Fate. A four-letter F-word.